i am so excited. i am really struggling in A&P2 this semester - it's just far too much information & my teacher is a crazy bitch (no, really, she is). I understand the material & i am really retaining a lot, but the way she tests is so weirdly worded, i'm not doing well. I have a C in the class at the moment, and I was freaking out because i thought that I needed a B in all my pre-reqs for them to count for grad school.

Well, the stress had gotten to be too much that I just needed an answer - there's no point in me finishing a class that I have a C in & then having to re-take it in the fall anyway & having to defer acceptance to graduate school. so I emailed my advisor & asked her what the deal was - do I need a B in every class, or just an overall B (3.0) average or better?

Well, thank the baby jesus that it's the latter situation - I just need better than a 3.0 overall. And all my other pre-reqs added up to a 3.68 last semester, plus I have an A in Physics (yes, i know, i am kicking ass), so a C in A&P2 isn't going to kill my GPA. and oh, thank god. THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was totally, completely freaking out. I was so stressed that I haven't been sleeping well, I am constantly tired, I cry randomly, and I get overly emotional for ridiculous reasons. but hopefully that's all done with now, now that I know that I don't need to kill myself over getting 100s on everything else in that class (which is basically impossible).

man i am so happy. SO HAPPY!!!

several things:

1. I'm so happy that I live in a place that is so, so gorgeous that folks spontaneously pull over on the side of the road to soak in the view. It's dangerous, yes, but makes me pause & think about that view as well. Because last night? The Catskills looked magical from the top of the Shawangunks. (yes, I live between two amazing mountain groups.)

2. My week has been a bit nutty. I walked into A&P on Monday morning and was informed by one of my lab partners that we had a test the next day - a test I had magically not seen listed on the syllabus (yeah, it was there...) when I checked the other day. Ugh. So lots & lots of studying happened Monday night. And I had a lab report due that day, a lab report due yesterday (for Physics), a test on Thursday (A&P), and 2 other lab reports due on Thursday (A&P AND Physics). so uh, I'm busy.

3. My cell phone has decided to shit the bed. I plugged it in at school yesterday & it started doing wacky things - freezing, turning itself off & on randomly, making "bleeeeep" noises randomly... ugh. And as demonstrated by Item 2 of this list, I do not have the time to run to the Verizon store (30 mins away) and wait (probably an hour) to have them switch Jason's old phone into my new phone. So I basically don't have a functioning cell phone for uh, who knows how long. So, you can still call me, but please leave a message, because I probably won't get your actual call. Awesome.

4. My house is a mess. The cat box needs to be done, the dishes need to be washed, the floor needs to be vacuumed, things need to be dusted & straightened. And I want to do this, I have to do this, but I just don't have the time. And that sucks.

5. I need to do more things for myself during this crazy-school time. I am headed to the gym in a few minutes (yay!), which is my alloted Heather Time for today. Then I will spend the entire rest of my day in the Math/Physics Help room, writing lab reports & doing Physics homework. Thrilling, I know. Then I have class later when said homework problems are due.

So, off I go. Aren't lists nice?

i was going to post something yesterday, but i honestly couldn't muster up the energy to. i am so burnt out on school already. it's just been a ton of work, taking these two lab classes in the summer. i have 2 lab reports due for Physics each week (that take me ~3.5 hrs to write each), a prelab for A&P, a lab for A&P, pages & pages of homework problems for Physics, plus all the reading I need to do for A&P. i just feel really overwhelmed, and it's absolutely, entirely exhausting.

and yes, i know, i can get through this, i can do this, blahblahblah. that;s what everyone is telling me. yes, i know this. but goddamn if it isn't some of the hardest shit i've had to do.

here's a rundown of a typical day:
6a - get up, shower
6:30a - make lunch, assemble snacks, put together some sort of dinnertime snack, start to eat my breakfast
6:45a - check email, check weather, get schoolbooks together
7a - out the door for my hour-long commute.
8a - A&P till 10:30
10:30-12:20 - do work in the math lab
12:30 - 2: A&P lab
2:10-5:50 - write a lab report, do some Physics problems, lose my mind.
6-9p - Physics
9p - Start my drive home
10p - Arrive home
10:30p - go to bed

so. basically when I'm home, I sleep & make food & shower. I haven't even really been able to get to the gym at all, which has totally been pissing me off. i hate paying for something I can't use, especially something as expensive as belonging to a gym. plus, i hate how it makes me feel - i love going to the gym, i love the feeling of accomplishment that goes along with it. but i simply don't have the time. yes, i could take time out of doing schoolwork during the day to run to the gym, but that would take a good solid 2 hours out of my day (a little more than 1 hr workout, plus shower), which i simply can't afford. maybe I'll try it this week, since my amazing Physics prof decided to cut down on the number of lab reports we have to write each week - only 1 from now on! thank god! so that will free up quite a bit of time during my week.

plus i have babysitting. i've been babysitting like a freakin madwoman, which is great since it looks like our rent will basically be free this month (!!), but really exhausting. i feel like i really don't have much time just to myself - my time is spent with babies, or books, or classmates, or computers. not just me & my knitting & a movie anymore. which, i guess, is okay for the short-term, but long-term? i think i'd go a little bananas.

plus i have an apartment that doesn't miraculously clean itself. there are dishes to do, laundry to fold, floors to vacuum, catboxes to clean. and while Jason does do some of this, i feel like i need to be contributing too. but i simply don't have the time which is super aggravating. i wish we could afford to have someone come clean the house only for the next 4 weeks. it would be a huge weight of my mind.

i keep having to tell myself that i've already done 1/3 of the work. 1/3 of my semester is already over. i just have 4 more weeks to go, and I'll be done. only 4 more weeks - that's totally do-able, right? i hope so.

Heaven in the morning is:

Sleeping in.

Okay, okay, okay. Second-place Heaven in the morning is:

Maple walnut granola with vanilla yogurt. ooooooh. what a way to start a day.

i'm tired. my legs hurt. it's going to be hot out, but the buildings at school are freezing. so uh, pants, and a tank top with a hoodie is what i'm wearing. i feel so fashionable (opposite!).

tomorrow is my last day of classes until next Tuesday (when I have a test on BLOOD). tomorrow I have a test on vectors & 2D motion. ack! Physics is hard. but my professor is so so so so nice & so so so so helpful. thank goodness.

i'm gonna go snuggle with jason, who is still asleep (lucky dog!).

oooooh, y'all should read this! this woman knows what's up!

Do We Overprotect our Children?

(it's short, so read it!!)

i worked 24 hours in the last 2 days. i am exhausted, my feet are KILLING ME, and i swear, my bladder has been stretched to severely unnatural proportions. sitting two kids under the age of 2, one of which likes to trash EVERYTHING (along with get into the trash), and the other who is content only when snugly nuzzled into my boobage is exhausting.

and tomorrow, i have to be up at 6 to start Anatomy & Physiology 2. and i have to do lots of physics problems, and i have to write a lab report (or two), and i have to (probably) read lots in my A&P textbook. it's just a lot. i think i'm a little stupid taking 2 really intense summer classes. i mean, i have to do it, but jesus christ. i also have to get at least a B in both classes. ay. i mean, i'm a good student, it's just a lot to have going on right now. i want to be able to enjoy my summer.

i'm so excited for this weekend. thursday, jay, me, greeley & andy are headed up to jay's family's lake house upstate until Sunday. oh. oh. it's going to be wonderful. i can't wait to just be able to sit in the sun & just completely relax for 4 days. oh. man.

god, i am so tired. a 14-hour day is HARD.

I've started my summer classes. Actually, only one class this week - Physics. It started Monday. and boy. it's hard & intimidating & overwhelming & really, really flying by. I don't know what possessed me to think that I could take 2 really intense lab courses in the span of 7 weeks. Anatomy & Physiology 2 starts on Monday. I looked through the lab manual yesterday, and it seems as if I have to dissect a cat. I was worried about this - I was hoping it would be a pig instead. but no. It's a cat. and also - I have a comprehensive final exam in that class. What??? That is insane. I don't think I've ever had a comprehensive final exam. Like, uh, ever. and especially not in a class that is jam-packed with a bazillion little bits of information.

So Physics is hard, but I'm kind of getting it. my teacher just flys through the information, though. I would like to ask her to slow down a bit, but I'm not entirely sure that she can. I think she's just a fast talker. I miss teachers like Albertini & Hobbes. *sigh* I miss statistics. But, on the bright side: I was really intimidated by stats initially as well, but then I freakin KILLED that class. So, here's hoping the same thing happens with Physics & A&P2.

The weather has been gorgeous lately. I just wish I had a bit of a place to sit/lay outside. We have tons of land where we live - lots & lots of yards. But I don't have outside chairs, and other folks can see me when I'm outside, and i don't know why, but I don't like that.

I've been going to the gym frequently - I'm trying to make it every day now. I've been successful this past week, so that's a good sign. I love doing the recumbent bike for my cardio, because I can sit back & read - there's no bouncing up & down like there is on the elliptical, causing me to lose my place. But unfortunately, the seats are gigantic on the bikes & my left leg falls asleep after about 20 minutes because the top of my thigh is pressed really hard against the edge of the seat. That is a bummer. I need to figure something else out. Because reading makes my time doing cardio much more tolerable than listening to music or a podcast. I just don't like all the repetition. I get bored.

My sister is graduating with her Master's Degree tomorrow. she's 23. God! I wish i was in her shoes. My mom is actually coming up to my apartment tomorrow morning to pick me up - I've lived 15 minutes from her for 5 months, and she has yet to see my place. She's picking me up & we're heading out to see my sister & go out to lunch with her & lots of other family. So that'll be nice - I'm really proud of her.

And then I have a weekend full of babysitting - seriously. Both Saturday & Sunday I'm babysitting 6am-8pm for the two kids upstairs. This is an on-going thing happening every-other weekend. I think on Saturday I'll maybe bring them to a graduation party for one of Jay's childhood friends, and on Sunday we may go to some jazz festival in Kingston. I just need to get them out of the house - I can't stay in the house all day, it drives me freaking bonkers. but it's hard to find things to do with a 2-month old & a 18-month old. Especially when the 2-month old screams bloody murder unless he's being held.

Alright. I must go eat breakfast & head out to babysit. Then gym. Then LOTS of Physics homework. Then class. Bye!

Upon receiving this tag, immediately perform a screen capture of your desktop. It is best that no icons be deleted before the screen capture so as to add to the element of fun. Tag five of your friends and ask them to give you a view of their desktops as well.

here's my screen capture...



I tag:
Jason
Tim
Kristin
Julie (in portland)
Lindsey (in boston)

Let's talk about strawberries, shall we?

I love strawberries. Love them. I like them sliced over vanilla ice cream, I like them eaten plain, I like them in the morning with my yogurt & granola, and I like them in between meals, as a snack.

That said, we have a fucking ridiculous amount of strawberries. June is Strawberry Season in the Hudson Valley, as it is most everywhere. So folks go Strawberry Crazy. They go & buy strawberries at markets, they take their kids & pick strawberries at the local farms. And somehow, all these Strawberry Crazy folks know me. And they give me strawberries. Plus, we belong to a CSA now & they have strawberries now, too.

We have eaten a ridiculous amount of strawberries in the past few weeks. We had finished off one pint last night, and I thought we had only one more pint to go. Surprise! I just completely unpacked our farmshare, and they included an additional pint of strawberries in the bag. What. The. Fuck.

I think tonight, if we don't end up going to New Paltz for dinner, I'll make dessert here... I'll mash up some strawberries & cook them on the stove with a bit of water, and put that over some ice cream. Because, seriously, one person can only eat so many strawberries.

Yoinked from....well, lots of people.

You know how sometimes people on your friends list post about stuff going on in their lives, and all of a sudden, you think, "Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE?" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ashamed to ask for clarification because it seems like info you should already know. It happens to all of us sometimes.

Post my list of items in your journal with your own answers and elaborate where necessary.

( Read more... )